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/adv/ board - Advice - March 2014

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Hey /adv/... Since i dumped my gf years ago, i have been trying to get back on track. After getting over her, i started lifting, running, learnt to drive, traveling, playing vidya and basically doing everything i wanted, i got my life back. But i have a huge problem, talking to girls. I just cant fucking do it. I have seen the simple pick up videos and im trying to do things like that, but fuck is hard. I cant do shit. I go out, with my positive mind, excited, looking forward to talk to some girls, but as soon as i see one my brain fucks up and freezes. I start getting thoughs about "she may have a boyfriend" "she is too beautiful/ she is too ugly" "she looks busy" "she looks lesbian" You know pretty fucking stupid excuses. I dont want to get laid, i dont even give a fuck about getting dates, i just want to be able to talk to girls, i want to stop being scared of them, i want to feel in the same channel and able to start a conversation with any girl without even thinking about it. How do i fix my fucking brain? >inb4 an hero >been thinking about it More info: Im 28, dress ok i have sense of fashion, exgf said im not ugly, i had 2 gf before, 1 for 6 years, 1 for 6 weeks. Pretty much i call this woman phobia or something.
so i'm losing my... 4 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
so i'm losing my virginity in 2 weeks. in my past relationship, we did just about everything except vaginal sex. this paired with shit tons of reading about sex on the internet, should i stand an okay chance with this new girl? not to mention i'm extremely comfortable with her and really don't see going soft so much of a threat. did any of you guys hit it out of the park on your first time?
So, I have a problem with what... 7 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
So, I have a problem with what seems to be my prostate. In general the power of the urine stream has lowered and the time for the urination to begin has risen, but for about a year now it worsens from time to time dramatically to the point where urination is near impossible. These phases luckily last only from a few hours to a day or two, but during that time it's hard to get anything done as my mind filled with both the desire for relief and the frustration of knowing that there's nothing I can do other than waiting it out. I can live with the lowered stream power and such, but those phases (which can come in intervals from about a month to just a few days) really wear me down, pretty sure it would qualify as torture if done to somebody. Literally sitting in sessions of about half an hour on the bowl, trying to press some urine out to lower the pressure, and therefore the urge at least a bit (not manually though, bladder reacts with light pain when pressed in these sircumstances). Anybody knows what this might be or how to tackle it? Help is much appreciated.
I've been seeing this guy... 12 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
I've been seeing this guy for about a month. I'm wondering if he wants to be with me or we are just a hook up. When I asked him he said he hates titles and that we are friends but he doesn't want to be just friends. I said so we are friends with benefits? He says he hates titles. I'm 26, he's three years younger than me. He says he's, "in like with me." He says I'm very lovable and seem easy to love. He texts me everyday, yesterday he picked me up from work. This is the second time he's done that. He buys me food and says he wants to feed me. When we have sex he says, "lets make love." Okay so what's up with him?
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Buckle in, this is a long one. /adv/, how do I deal with my willfully ignorant mom? I'm 22 and no longer live with her; as soon as I turned 18 I moved as far away from here (rural North Carolina) as possible to the other side of the country (Los Angeles). About once a year she asks me to come home and I oblige because family and stuff and she's kind enough to comp the ticket. My problem is that every time I'm here we explode at each other and it's usually over my frustration with her unwillingness to listen to reason. For example,albet a pitiful one, today she was telling me that she has been eating around 800 calories a day and not losing any weight. I tried to explain to her that it's because she should be eating at least 1200 cals a day and the reasoning/facts/studies behind it. She didn't just ignore it, she claimed that I think I "know everything about everything" and that I can't know what I'm talking about because I'm "just a child". I got yelled at for, basically, being stupid even though I know the facts are on my side. She's a nice woman, but a people pleaser who will listen to the opinions of her redneck friends over logic or reason. This is a weird trivial example like I said but scenerio is usually the same: I try to help her and be reasonable and she rejects me and calls me stupid. This has been going on since I was around 15. (continued)
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I am thinking maybe I need psychiatric help. About 3 years ago a mutual friend of many people I know died in an accident. I didn't really know her so I didn't care much, but I was still sympathetic to everyone crying and went along to the funeral etc. They kept bringing her up every once in a while ever since, but I mostly forgot about her. Then the other day I somehow got to her old facebook page, which has thousands of pictures of her. The top few hundreds are from the funeral and other official ceremonies, but then I got to the actual pictures she uploaded, pictures of her life before the accident. While I kept going through the pictures I fell in love with this girl, she was beautiful, and seemed so lively and happy... Ever since I have been secretly fapping to her old photos, but she's dead and I have no idea why the fuck I am doing this even though I am disgusted with myself.
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I have an uncontrolling hate towards alpha males, what's the healthiest way to deal with this/them? (I'm a guy)
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I don't give a shit about anything, I've been spending the last 4 years of my life in my house. I don't know why the fuck I haven't killed myself yet, I just can't do shit.

Bad Neighbors

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Sup /adv/? I've googled around on this subject a bit but can't find anything relating to my particular issue. So basically, I live in a close quarters apartment complex. Apparently when I use my water it is quite loud to my neighbors, as a result whenever I run my water for any extended period of time they rhythmically tap on their side of the wall. It may not sound like a big deal, but over time I find myself not wanting to use my water or even make noise while Im home, just to avoid the tapping. I do not feel comfortable in what is supposed to be my safe haven. I have confronted them about it before, I asked the guy to stop and he simply said no. At another point I told him to either fight me or stop tapping, he didn't want to fight, and said he'd stop, which he did for a bit, but has resumed since. At this point I figure my best option is to fight fire with fire, so to speak. I run my water lightly, and when they tap I crank both sides up full blast until they stop, this stops them for a bit, but then begins the "revenge tapping". Theyll tap for a couple minutes after I've settled in a bit. What ive done is set my ipod timer for intervals increasing by one minute intervals, then crank the water up for that time, i set it right by their wall, and when it sounds, off goes the water, but sure enough, more revenge tapping ensues in time. I hate wasting my day running water and listening for taps. I am thinking of other things to do, but could definitely use some help! tl;dr my loud water pipes, neighbors tap on wall, how to make it stop?
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I know this is probably a lost cause to ask for advice, but here goes. I have a VERY hard time saying what I mean to people. If I'm mad and want to explain why, I think it all out in my mind, but then when I see the person I just turn into a pleasant, simpering idiot. I have no backbone. It's really hard for me to talk, let alone show anger. I'm the classic mumbling beta. What can I do?
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I don't care about cars I hate them, they have a million parts and all the time something new breaks. If its not the diferential somethingsomething is the valve somethingother. /adv/ on how to ban cars?
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I know many people here hate teenagers in high school but I have an important question. What should I do with my life? So many people are taking the college right away and then work a dead end job route but I just can't see that being me. I don't want to be any of the jobs that people see as successful and money doesn't really mean anything to me. I have a few hobbies but none that I could make into a career. I'm getting advice from adults in my life but they all say go to college and become a doctor or some shit. I also feel as of I'm not really prepared for anything. High school for me has been a place where I do nothing, get good grades because nothing is difficult, and get yelled at constantly for having my own opinions on stuff. Should I pursue college or do something else? Again I know most people here hate teenagers but I have no one else to ask.
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Alright so, I'm not too informed on the ways of life and how to really get initiated into the world so i'd like a little help or /adv/. I'm 18 and I live with my mother right now, neither of us work or have a car, and I've been applying to every place within a reasonable walking distance, with no luck, i have no job experience so far either. I got food poisoning a while back so my income is some disability from it and some child support to pay the bills, but its not enough to save any on and the child support will end when I turn 19. My girlfriend also had to move a few months ago and i wanna visit her or get a job and stability so I can get her moved here. Theres no bus routes in my area nor are there any reasonably prices cabs,and most jobs around probably wont pay well enough for a cab anyway. So what other options do I have as of now? I wanna do something with my life and get on my feet for my girlfriend and myself and live stable life.
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I'm you were equally black and white, should you date black or white women?
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How do you deal with an alcoholic parent in denial? All the lying s seriously starting to piss me off...

Frizzy Hair Fix

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Anyone with frizzy hair, can you please tell me products/things to do that will lessen and/or fix it? I live in a rather humid place (FL), with lots of sunlight and rain occasionally. It really screws up my hair, makes it frizz, and just look awful. I can somehow manage to lessen the frizz if I pull my hair into a ponytail when it's drying after a shower. But if I let it loose after it's been wet and dry like that, it becomes so frizzy and horrible-looking. I don't mind doing this when I'm alone, but I'd rather not have to pull my hair back like that when I'm around my boyfriend. Also, do men really care about hair? Or is it just a girl thing? Pic related somewhat -- my dream hair.
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I need your help /adv/. So, this chick and me have been texting and shit and she invited me over to her pad a week ago to smoke and shit. So I ended up sleeping over and I fingered her and ate her out, but when I took out a condom she said that we should wait. I was cool with that, thinking she didn't wanna fuck on the first date. Now she wants me to go over tonight, but yesterday she said that she didn't wanna have sex unless she was in a relationship. How do I get her to want to fuck tonight?
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>on bus looking to get out of my comfort zone >blasting Linkin Park on my phone >tell myself "if anyone tells me to turn it down I'm just gonna say "I don't think so, tim" >everyone's looking at me >finally some fat middleaged lady sitting down near me says "do you mind turning that down?" >everyone looking at me with evil eyes they finally have the balls to all turn against me >decide to turn it down >say "sorry" turn all red and turn it down >girl besides me starts suppressing her laughter How do I become more badass?

My Ex wants to talk; I do not

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Dear friends of /adv, I had an year of a relationship that was a crazy ride; sometimes it was so good, other times, so fucking bad. I suspect she cheated on me, and when it got so utter shitty we broke up. I sweared I would never call back, she called after an week and I didn´t answer. It has been 3 months ever since, I blocked her everywhere (Facebook, twitter etc) but forgot to do so on my phone´s sms. >"I want to speak to you honey, call me back. Kisses " All I said was: >"Hello, how do you do?" I will be frank, I was not going to answer, but I did. I was rebuilding my life, I am really happy being a bachelor again and now this... What would you do comrades? Thank you

Dem feelings

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So I'm in a very odd situation. I have a very close friend who I have known for years now. Despite her having a bf I fell in love with her. We didn't meet at any point irl (Skype helped with that) . I have had a few longish relationships over this time but... Anyway. Situation brought her to my country to live with her bfs family, but they broke up a little while ago and I told her she would have a place to stay if she wanted to stay in the country. She knows I was in love with her, but fortunately those emotions disappeared until they broke up due to her bfs massive jealousy. So today we met. It was an amazing day we spent together. She wants to stay in the country and come live with me cause we both agree it would be fun. She also likes another guy she has been spending a ton of time talking to over voicecomms. Which makes this even harder... I think I have fallen in love with her all over again, because now that I have met her I think she is even more wonderful than before. And before you ask, I know all her flaws and I have accepted her the way she is (she is pretty messed up) . I need advice on wat do. On one hand I know I could give her an amazing life, but I don't want to be in love with her because I'm afraid to get hurt , and that has happened several times in the past. How should I proceed? How would I stop myself from loving her? Or should I just wait her to live with me and make her time here amazing as possible so that she would possibly fall in love with me? Or should I ignore my own feelings completely? Or something else?
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