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/adv/ board - Advice - March 2014

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Hey /adv/... Since i dumped my gf years ago, i have been trying to get back on track. After getting over her, i started lifting, running, learnt to drive, traveling, playing vidya and basically doing everything i wanted, i got my life back. But i have a huge problem, talking to girls. I just cant fucking do it. I have seen the simple pick up videos and im trying to do things like that, but fuck is hard. I cant do shit. I go out, with my positive mind, excited, looking forward to talk to some girls, but as soon as i see one my brain fucks up and freezes. I start getting thoughs about "she may have a boyfriend" "she is too beautiful/ she is too ugly" "she looks busy" "she looks lesbian" You know pretty fucking stupid excuses. I dont want to get laid, i dont even give a fuck about getting dates, i just want to be able to talk to girls, i want to stop being scared of them, i want to feel in the same channel and able to start a conversation with any girl without even thinking about it. How do i fix my fucking brain? >inb4 an hero >been thinking about it More info: Im 28, dress ok i have sense of fashion, exgf said im not ugly, i had 2 gf before, 1 for 6 years, 1 for 6 weeks. Pretty much i call this woman phobia or something.
4 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
How easy is it to grow mushrooms? Any advice on how to? Or just any useful info would be nice.
Had a good relationship, but... 3 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
Had a good relationship, but after becoming somewhat emotionally abusive, she couldn't stand it anymore and broke up with me after tons of pathetic begging and pleading not to do so. She found another guy, and she's now recovering from the emotional damage I caused. The thing is, I just found out what caused me to become a monster. Turns out it was borderline personality disorder. Most likely caused by my mother (extremely emotionally unstable, volatile temper) combined with a long history of trauma caused by long periods of complete social rejection and being frequently bullied both physically and psychically throughout my entire childhood. Managed to gain control of my anger, but I still suffer from a lot of the other symptoms. Anything I can do to un-fuck the situation? How the fuck do I get rid of my diagnosis? Meds? Therapy?

Bisexual girlfriend

Bisexual girlfriend 3 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
>be 19 >gf of 6 months is 18 >she's bisexual, I'm straight >she only had sex with one person, that with her ex-girlfriend >I'm not a virgin, although haven't had sex since started dating her >she grabs my dick >always shirtless and no-bra when making out >I touch her over clothes >try to get into her pants >keeps moving my hand >happened 4 times so far >I think she doesn't even get turned on when we do anything What do.
How bad is drinking 1 cup of... 8 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
How bad is drinking 1 cup of coffee every day with cream and sugar for your teeth? Assuming the anon eats pretty healthy otherwise, will cutting that out have any effect on his dental health?
>Been with girl for a year... 60 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
>Been with girl for a year now >Just told me last night that she was molested repeatedly by her step father from ages 12-15, before her mother found out and he went to jail >tells me she understands if I don't want to be with "damaged goods" and if I left her How the fuck am I supposed to handle this? What the fuck was with the whole damaged goods shit? Why did she wait this long to tell me this? I'm so fucking confused right now.
I need some /adv/iceI hate my... 1 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
I need some /adv/ice I hate my job. I'm an experienced software developer and get paid well, but I'm sick of the stressful nature of the work. I need to figure out a more interesting/exciting career path that I can start working towards. I don't think finding a new job in my field is going to cut it, im sick of it, I think I need something totally different.

Stay moved out or go back home

Stay moved out or go back home 4 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
I'm currently in my final year of university living in another part of the country to my family home. I love the independence, and being in a part of the country with good transport links, night life and opportunities. Back home is the middle of nowhere, there's little work and its a stifling place where people retire to. I've been looking for a job all throughout university, and other than a lot of online work I haven't managed to secure anything. I just want a part-time job that I can turn into full-time work. I don't care what it is; waiting, cash registers, cleaning, cooking... I'll do it. I have a few months until my tenancy runs out on the property I'm living in and I still have no job. I want to live here for the next few years due to better transport links and chances for work, of which there are none back home. But unless I get work, I can't afford to live here. Thoughts? Economically, should I go back to a home with no prospects and little chance of escape until I'm in my thirties? Or should I stay where I am and eat into my nest egg until something comes along? What's practical? What's the best option?
hello, would this be a good... 14 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
hello, would this be a good dress to wear on a date my crush is very fashion-oriented, but i don't know if he would be okay with something so short!
Being a girl (don't... 7 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
Being a girl (don't leave, there's a point to mentioning it), I was basically brought up being told that I/girls should never make the first move when it comes to relationships or letting someone know you love them. I remember specifically being told by my mother that "I should let him kiss me first". I can see where she is coming from with that, but I believe this kind of mindset, while it could potentially help some relationships to not rush, also destroys the chances of having one. I'm sure I'm not the only one who was brought up on this way. I've seen those posts regarding how we supposedly never make the first move, or only make the subtlest of hints towards our potential love interest. It's not that I want to be this way, but trying to grow out of something that you were told to do and not immediately see the repercussions of is difficult. I do currently like someone right now as it is, and I've been through enough and seen enough shit at this point where, I think that if I don't let them know or at least be more forward about it, the chance could just as easily slip out of my hands. I mean, if somehow I knew the opportunity was right and I wasn't invading their personal space, I'd have made the first move already, perhaps. So I guess what I'm trying to ask is: How can I grow out of this mindset? I don't want to be like this forever, especially not now that I have someone specific to go after. I'm sure I'm not the only one with this problem either. (pic not related)

Novel suggestions?

Novel suggestions? 8 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
Can anyone suggest a novel (preferably sci-fi, but totally o.k. if not) that has to deal with what happens _after_ the main character "conquers their Moby Dick" and they're left with the "now what" and maybe/hopefully goes through some major metanoia that forms the denouement of the novel?

friend is hanging with my ex, what do

friend is hanging with my ex,... 4 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
Broke up with my ex about two months ago. We dated for 8 months. As soon as it ended, a guy that I'm really good friends with (we used to hang out every day until he started seeing her) that I'll call 'M' started hanging around with her daily. He's been bailing and ditching us every day to hang out with her. My other friends knew about it but they felt that it wasn't their place to tell me. 'B', a mutual friend, told him it was a bad idea and that M should either fuck off or talk to me about it. M agreed, said he'd stop, but he hasn't. For curiosity sake I ran by her house last night at 1am and sure enough his car was there. I sent a message over the group chat that we use to make plans and essentially told M to man the fuck up and talk to me about this instead of delaying and avoiding me. He agreed and now myself, M, and B are getting together tonight to talk. I don't care that he's seeing her. it's whatever, we're all adults. it just hurts that someone I considered a friend would go behind my back like this. All I wanted from him was honesty and courtesy. What should I say to him? I'm nervous as all fuck.
I've never known what the... 8 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
I've never known what the fuck I'd enjoy doing with my life, but I'm sure it'll require an education so I think I've narrowed it down to three degrees. Should I just pull the trigger and begin? I'm tired of thinking about it. If I had to guess, I'd say a management or producer-like position would make me most happy. Business Administration, Computer Information Technology or International Business? I'm leaning towards IB.
How do I stop being edgy... 0 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
How do I stop being edgy angsty teenager while being 25 yo? Its like I never grew up.
So I was wondering if... 15 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
So I was wondering if it's okay for small chested girls to not wear a bra sometimes. Pic kinda related, mine are about that size. I don't need a bra at all really, I just wear it to hide my nipples if it's a bit colder outside. I won't go full commando all the time but during summer I hate wearing a bra. So, is it completely unacceptable or is it okay? Some of my guy friends think it's not a prob at all (topic was general, nobody in peticular) but I've heard a couple of times it's distastefull. (mostly parents or older people). So what do you think /adv/? tl;dr Going out in public with no bra, yes or no?
Today is my 22nd birthday. I... 4 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
Today is my 22nd birthday. I feel like I blanked my teen years, I forget 16-20. Is this normal? I have a really hard time remembering anything that happened during that time, unless someone brings it up I really can't put a finger to much of anything. Is this normal?

how to respond to psycho girl?

how to respond to psycho girl? 17 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
Well, i´ve been clubbing the last half year. Always on molly, dancing like a horse. I´ve also met a cute girl. pic related After a lot of dancing and smoking weed she gave me her number. I wasn´t so interested because i thought she would be creepy. And she is, writing things like: we´re all gods, and you´re also one (sort of romantic bitch shit?). So last saturday we accidentaly met at a techno party and she was kind of attached to me. Not always behind me, but always kuddled me and kind of wanted to kiss me but i rejected. she is a 6/10, and as a friend pretty nice. but she is a psycho-relationship girl. >she offers me to come over What to write? I just want friendship, but can´t say it in private, only facebook. Also i haven´t chatted with girls yet. Don´t like this shit and i´m terrible in it. so. What to write?
I'm addicted to internet.... 0 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
I'm addicted to internet. I think it's because: -I lack socialization, and internet gives me some short of human interaction online. -Even if I socialize, I'm addicted to learning, and I can't learn much offline in a fast way. I have solved this a little by studying Chinese and meeting some Chinese students to study with. -I'm poor, and I can't spend a lot of money in fun activities, so I spend time online. -It's cold now, so I can't go out with my bike, or do fun things outside. -It takes me 35 minutes to reach out the center of my city. I find it a waste of time and money the need to use the public transport every day. It's too cold for my bike. (I'm European). -The cold affects me too badly. I would join a gym, but the closest one is 10 minutes away walking, and it's too fucking cold and small... and I don't want to spend the money. I'm poor. I guess I need to practice my self-control. What motivates you in order not to binge? Another problem that I have is that my library is equally far: 35 minutes. And I hate the fucking cold (again). In spring it will be better. But winter worries me. I browse internet on my bike... that's mostly what I do. Maybe by buying a tablet and hiding my laptop, using it only for serious work I could stop using the internet so much and instead spend more time studying? Maybe I need to calm myself, and fully dedicate to studying?
>tinder>like 100's... 1 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
>tinder >like 100's of girls >match only ~15 people >all bots d-does this mean I'm ugly
So me and my girl have been... 1 posts and 0 image replies omitted. Click to view.
So me and my girl have been together for a year. Starting a few months ago starting with a argument about her driving my car less aggressively. Where I was told that "I don't trust her" because her driving scared the shit out of. me. Since then I feel like everything I do is under a micro scope and it's nerve racking. Example: Yesterday I was making mac and cheese for a quick lunch. She comes into the kitchen and tells me "You need to put more butter in". I tell her " I don't want half a stick of butter in my mac and cheese, It's gross to me" I am then told " no you need to put more butter in you are not going to half ass cook things your whole life" This back and forth becomes so tiresome that I just say fuck it and put the fucking butter in. After that I put the milk in after all of that she takes the pot away from me for putting more milk in than what the box says. (I like it that way) She then rails into me about how I am wasting money with how much milk I am using. (a 1/4 cup more). I told her " This is how I want to eat my food. This is not something we should be having a argument about. It's silly" She then got mad and said " Oh so my concerns are silly? You don't even care about what I think." I say " I don't like when you start getting like this with me" She cuts me off and tells me that I am acting like a victim. I lose it and tell her " I'll be ready to talk to you when I am done eating my lunch and you checked your attitude" She than stomps off into the room. This is a fairly common thing. I have been picked at for clothing that SHE actually lost. Saying that I don't care about her things because I was not keeping a tally on clothes of hers that I have seen recently and could not tell her the where whens and whys of a piece of clothing that does not belong to me. Or even the last to touch it. I don't even know how to respond to this anymore.
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