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/adv/ board - Advice - September 2014

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ADVICE TIME: Relationship Edition The long version of this story is well, long. So let's keep this short, huh? >Meet girl >We flirt at a party >Nothing happens >Fast forward into the future >Like a year >1 year later >Her and I have met a handful of times >Chill >Long story happens >We start talking by the end of it all >Slightly long distance, she lives 2 hours away >I decided to put effort into said relationship >She is nice, kind, etc etc >One night, she calls me when she is PLASTERED drunk >"Hiya, anon! Someone wants to talk to you!" >"Uh...kay." >Some drunk dude gets on the phone, tells me how lucky I am >Whole bunch of stuff >Kay....I'm sleepy, I semi-comprehend >Tells me that the girl rejected him, citing the fact she is fairly involved with me >Her, in her drunken stupor, believed it would be a good idea to have him call me >I found it funny and was pleasantly surprised >I didn't really think we had gone steady or anything >Fast forward time about 2 weeks >I go up to visit her >Her roommates ask me "So....what are you guys..." >#howdoIreply >#fuckifIknow >#yolo >I say we are exclusive, secretly kicking myself when I say it >Girl wasn't there, so she didn't hear that >We have a good time when I'm there, I leave after the weekend >Calls me like 2 days later >"Sooo, my roommates told me...." >"Yeah, didn't know quite what to say" >We actually end up dating out of it >She said it felt rushed but she would give it a try Kay, so this is like to precursor story you need right? I will continue.

Help me!

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Hello /adv/ I need your help! im constantly being bullied by everyone in my life because im overweight. I feel like nobody loves me or even care about if I exsists or not... Help me before i take my life, why should i still be here?
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how do you know when your problems are bad enough for therapy?
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I've always wanted to go skydiving, and have recently decided to takes steps to make that happen, but know no one has done it. I'd just like some general advice on how to go about it, recommendations for places in the NY area, what to avoid, etc. Stories are also appreciated.
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I've really fucked myself this time. I'm supposed to be building a lesson plan for an entire college semester course that I know nothing about. I also know nothing about creating lesson plans. It was due today, and i'm supposed to be getting paid for it too. The lady I'm doing it for could be a great connection if I get this in. But I have very VERY little and am scared to continue because I have no idea what the fuck I am doing. I would love to back out of this but I fear it's way too late and I'll lose her as a connection because of it. Tips for a) backing out gracefully? b) motivation to finish this very very soon? Please help.
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One of my best friends has been having psychosis / schizophrenic traits since his ecstasy overdose a few years ago, followed by lots of LSD use right after. It's really damn sad, part of me feels guilty because I got him onto these drugs and I feel like theres a lot of resentment against me from his family and friends. I want to get him help before it's too late, enough time has already passed. Anyone know if there is treatment to stable him out? It almost seems like he has brain damage because he is that delusional. He doesn't have health insurance so I'm going to help him fill out the forms but until then I was just wondering if any of you guys have any experience in this kind of thing? Is there any hope you think?
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What are the reprecussions of killing myself at a firing range with a rented firearm?
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So. Recently my friend has gone insane and started falsely accusing me of raping him.. What the fuck do I do? Can I take him to court? He was institutionalized about a week after he snapped but he was onoy in there for a week and came out even more convinced I had raped him. Now he's telling everyone he knows, including my girlfriend that I raped him. He's come up with all kinds of delusions of how it happened, or should I say how "each one happened". Can I even take him to court sense he was recently put in a mental hospital? I just seriously have no idea what to do...

/r/ rec for an email service

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hotmail asked me for my phone number gave me a week then i had to, so i put bullshit in and now i can't access it what's a good email service? not really thinking of doing much with it other than setting up accounts on sites to use them.

How do I into street smarts

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How do I acquire street smarts/become quick witted/sharp? I don't how else to say it, but I feel flat out dumb. People say things to me and sometimes they pass over my head or they take awhile to sink in. I'm slow with some things and it bugs me. What can I do to become a sharper person? Am I just fucked in life or what?
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My girlfriend an I sometime go for almost a month without sex. We're 22 and 23, and we've been together for 7 years. We'll fuck twice a week or so for maybe 2 months out of every year, but that's the exception. I'm arguably a little more attractive than her and I have a big and girthy cock, though I'm admittedly pretty shit at foreplay/setting the mood (I usually give her a full body massage and start teasing her pussy, at which point she convulses away from me). I'm also a bit of an emotional bitch sometimes, but only in comparison to her (a stoic tomboy). We're both fit, she has her own place, we're both fairly sociable, I'm really attentive and loving, etc. I don't really see anything obvious. I used to think it was the pill, but she's been off it for about 6 months now. I used to think she's cheating, but I've done my fair share of sleuthing in the past and never come up with anything remotely scandalous (though she has more guy friends than me, and visa versa, to be fair). Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can more easily turn this girl on?
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How can I get over people making fun of my appearance? I'm not fat, in fact, I am skinny but I have a bit of a gut. Everyone that I know well will poke/grab/squish my flabs and just say nasty things. Even this girl I'm seeing (we're not official) joins in and is probably the worst of them. "Please don't come with me if you look like that" "Careful with those clothes, it'd be a shame if you ripped them with your massive gut" etc. etc. etc. I don't go and sulk, I just laugh it off in the moment but it really cuts deep and ruins my confidence.
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How can I become economically wealthy legally?
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im starving for companionship but i seen too much. Having a girlfriend is more trouble than what its worth. When i hear about guys having fuck buddies and shit. Then i try to score and girls will always pull off that "i'm not like that" bullshit. plus for those of you saying that you gotta lower your standards. fuck that. fat girls dont know how to take care of themselves. so how do i eliminate the feelings of wanting? how can i overcome the hole in my chest and serves as a reminder of how alone you really are? Drugs don't help anymore, drinking gets me angry after a while. I wish i could just not care anymore. But even the things i enjoy are going bland.
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I got issued boots by my work. I am assured they are 100% new. Every time I wear them, I get horrid itchy red bumps all over my feet. I know it's not my socks or general hygeine, since when I wear other shoes or these socks (or other socks for that matter) I don't get new bumps. But tonight, I went to work, came home, and have two more of these awful horrid bumps. What the fuck could they be and how do I make them stop pic unrelated

Memory problems

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I have a very good short term memory, whenever I have a test I study a week before and have great results. Long term though is really bad, I am starting uni again tomorrow and I realized I can't remember anything I learned last year. It happens to me a lot, like when I read a book or play a game, I can exactly tell the story, and then a few months later it's all blurry and I can just remember very small bits. Is there a way I can improve my long term memory ?
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how do you actually start a good goddamn conversation with a woman?
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Sup /adv/ Broke up with my ex 9 months ago that I was madly in love with. Still burns, even after meeting new girls and working out. What the fuck should I do?
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