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I have to say goodbye to the hobby. I will probably be dead of heart failure by the end of the year. Nothing short of a transplant will do any good, and I don't have the money for that. Even if I sold my house and belongings to pay for it, I'd be homeless and destitute with no future, and I refuse to live like that. Not that I'd be able to pay for extra health care after, nor the likelihood of popping anti-rejection drugs the rest of my life. I'm making arrangements to part off my collection, and as for everything else... kind of pointless to buy more toys, right? Actually I was thinking of going into full-on jerk mode to people. I'm not leaving behind a family or dependents, maybe it's for the best people end up hating me so bad that no one misses me. Although if you ask some people, I'm a 120% jerk all the time, because I made them mad over some trivial thing years ago and they can't drop it like adults would. What I'm saying is... I am on borrowed time and have no choice. I have nothing to lose. This board may see more anger than it has before, because at least it'll give me a distraction. I don't think it'll change things much since /toy/ is a shithole of hatred anyway. I don't believe in god or an afterlife, so I'm not going to worry about trying to get into heaven or anything silly like that. The best part? I can't say I care. My heart's going to fail, I can't do anything. Even if I took the one option that MIGHT work my life would be so bad off I may as well be dead. Most people really don't like me anyway. A few months from now or 30 years from now, I contribute nothing nor am I liked so it really doens't matter when. I suppose if anyone will be thrilled, it will be Jin. I know he doesn't like me. Okay so he hates lots of people, but I doubt he'd cry over this.