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/adv/ - Advice

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Anonymous 06/23/14(Mon)22:54 UTC+1 No.14409922 Report

Hello /adv, I have actually never been on this board, but I've been pretty distraught all weekend..

I was supposed to go on a trip to Vegas with my gf and a friend and her cousin. Couldn't go. Ironically, that friend (who is a girl) is someone I've gone to high school with and she happened to graduate college with my now ex-gf.

This is where is gets annoying, frustrating, and probably complicated: this "friend" of mine decides to tell my gf that her close friend and I had a thing, and that she gave me blowjobs, which mind you, was about 7 years ago, and she tells my gf that while they were at a club in Vegas

Gf goes into furious rage, argues and says quite a bit of things, and hasn't talked to me since Friday. I told her this was way too long ago, and that her meeting friends I used to know was all coincidence, and that if I was going to continue changing to be a better man, that I shouldn't have to be reminded of my past.

She tells me that bc I never told her about that, and we even hung out with that girl (whom I don't even say anything but hi when I see her) is where I screwed up.

I don't feel like I'm wrong at all, esp since I don't want to live in the past if we were going to have a future. What should I do? Thoughts?
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Anonymous 06/23/14(Mon)23:19 UTC+1 No.14410006 Report

self-bump for opinions
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Anonymous 06/23/14(Mon)23:25 UTC+1 No.14410022 Report

>>14409922
Your girlfriend is being an over controlling fuckwad, but a note on her side. She is insecure because you never told her and you still hung out with that girl, making her feel like you could be cheating in her any minute and like she can't trust you. You should have told her that you two had a past, even if you don't really hang out.
Wait for her to cool off, explain to her why you never brought it up, how you're changing for the better and you didn't feel like you needed to mention it because you never really hang out with this girl, mention how she overreacted and how you aren't judging her for what she was doing with other people seven years ago.
But just give her a little space right now. I don't think you were in the wrong, but you should have mentioned it, even if you aren't close to said friend.
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Anonymous 06/23/14(Mon)23:29 UTC+1 No.14410040 Report

>>14410022

Thanks, I feel bad for not mentioning it of course, but I thought it was a legitimate reason for not because we talked about not living in the past. What if she is cooled off, but still won't talk to me? A close friend said I shouldn't text her because it will make it seem like she is right. Should I wait for her to talk to me (assuming she does)
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Anonymous 06/23/14(Mon)23:35 UTC+1 No.14410054 Report

>>14410040
No don't wait for her to come to you, because she probably won't. It will make things worse. Just wait for her to calm down, and if after a few days she still doesn't want to talk to you just leave her a voice mail or something explaining how you feel and then wait.

There is only so much you can do, I understand why she is upset but if she's going to break up with you and make this the final straw then it's not worth it. Whatever you did 7 years ago shouldn't mean anything to her now. If you were cheating on her your "friend" probably would have mentioned that too. Her insecurities are a bit misplaced, but it's just how she feels.
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Anonymous 06/23/14(Mon)23:46 UTC+1 No.14410092 Report

>>14410054

That's what I was thinking too. She was ridiculously mad. I don't know why the other girl even chose to say anything, it pisses me off she even did. I have no reason to hide anything from my gf, but it's none of the other girl's damn business to be ruining our relationship. I think if she is going to be mad at someone, she should be at her friend for telling her things.
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