[ 3 / a / adv / an / asp / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / g / gd / int / jp / k / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / o / out / p / po / sci / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wsg / x]

/adv/ - Advice

<< back to board
[Delete this thread]

Anonymous 07/23/14(Wed)20:56 UTC+1 No.14531447 Report

Here's my problem: I'm a 24 year old man and I'm completely obsessed with Michael Jackson.

I know this probably sounds strange, and I know it is, but I spend a ton of time reading about Michael Jackson, listening to his albums over and over, watching his music videos, the movies he made, the documentaries on him, the books. I can't get enough Michael! You might think it's strange that I'm 24, but when I was a child Michael Jackson was by far my favourite musician, even though I didn't really see much of his Thriller days, I used to love his music videos, songs on the radios, would try to learn his dances. Even when I was maybe 6 years old, I loved Michael Jackson. My mother even named me after Michael Jackson because she loved him too. That's never changed about me.

I was extremely affected when he died in 2009. I remember actually breaking down and crying when I heard the news, at first I couldn't believe it really happened. Even today it doesn't feel real, Michael Jackson didn't even seem human to me. He was like an angel. When people badmouth him and keep spreading the lies that he was a pedophile (he was proven innocent multiple times) or a demented sicko, it makes me so angry.

It doesn't make sense, I should move on. I hate to face reality, but Michael Jackson has been dead for 5 years now. And still I feel very depressed when anything about his death comes up or gets mentioned, just listening to his songs sometimes makes me cry when I realize he'll never sing them again. Michael Jackson said he wanted to live forever, the fact that he died at only 50 years old makes me upset. So many people who commit wrongdoings in the world live until they're 80, while Michael who only wanted to make the world a better place died so young.

How do I start letting go? I don't want to spend my life as some MJ obsessed weirdo, I'll never stop loving his music but I just want to be able to accept his death.
Anonymous 07/23/14(Wed)21:04 UTC+1 No.14531476 Report

he's dead jim
Anonymous 07/23/14(Wed)21:24 UTC+1 No.14531558 Report

You're crazy
Anonymous 07/23/14(Wed)21:34 UTC+1 No.14531593 Report


Seek counseling OP. This is a mental disorder likely inherited both genetically and behaviorally by your mother. Good news is that you mean well and don't have any of the destructive thoughts that many of the people who become obsessed with celebrities develop. Too much of your life is fixated in a man who has very little to do with your life. You've got to see a therapist to get this sorted out so you can get to the bottom of this as well as get through the grieving process.
Anonymous 07/23/14(Wed)21:46 UTC+1 No.14531647 Report

Anonymous 07/23/14(Wed)21:50 UTC+1 No.14531669 Report

Why is it a mental disorder? And why would I become destructive over liking MJ?
Anonymous 07/23/14(Wed)22:02 UTC+1 No.14531726 Report

Anonymous 07/23/14(Wed)22:11 UTC+1 No.14531751 Report

get a girlfriend.
Anonymous 07/24/14(Thu)01:37 UTC+1 No.14532573 Report

Not very productive or helpful advice anon although your heart is in the right place.

You sound mentally ill in some kind of way, I really don't mean that in a condescending or insulting way. I don't know how aware you are but this kind of affixiation is really unhealthy and is probably the result of, or exacebarated by a state of mind which allows something like this to happen.

I love Michael's music, he stands firmly as one of the few pop icons I still respect and enjoy listening to - he is a music legend. It is upsetting as something of a fan to know he had such a tough, unforgiving life and died so relatively young with more potential. But the difference between us is that I haven't even thought about this for a long time; months or even over a year(s). From what you've said, you have been obsessing over this like this is something that you will analyse and think over on a daily basis.

I suggest you stop reading or writing about him - more or less a complete ban on preoccupying yourself with thinking over his life or reputation. If you don't this romantic view of him wont disappear and will continue to follow your conscious mind. We both know, just by you posting here, that you know that is a problem and want it to change. Listen to his music, and maybe branch out your listening to other artists if you only listen to his music or him and a few others. You should also really consider seeking counselling, if you are in an able position like in the UK, as another anon suggested - there may be more missing or other dangers to your mental health that you are unaware of.
Anonymous 07/24/14(Thu)01:45 UTC+1 No.14532613 Report

That's fascinating, anon. I'm only 19, and apparently I completely missed out on Michael Jackson. I was aware of his death but that's about as far as I know him. Why is he so intriguing to you?

He's what many identify as a cultural icon of the 20th century and I have no idea why people like his music or him. Why the cosmetic surgeries? I get the skin disease, but the man had at least 10 cosmetic surgeries before 1990. Why was this acceptable for Michael Jackson to do? Is it because the Jackson Five were cute and adorable?

It just makes no sense to me. I'll help you if you help me.
Anonymous 07/24/14(Thu)01:53 UTC+1 No.14532643 Report

It might help you to look up and understand celebrity worship. Read and absorb even the most basic stuff and try to learn more and more about why a brain would click on a person and their work and stay there to intensely. Then try to work on whatever issue you may have that has made you feel this way. It's ok to love his work of course, and to keep loving it. I'm not asking you to stop that so don't think it's a bad thing to learn about yourself. Hang in there.

Also, I'm thankful you aren't some tumblr fandom worshiping fucker. At least the king of pop is cool.
Anonymous 07/24/14(Thu)01:56 UTC+1 No.14532657 Report

>but when I was a child Michael Jackson was by far my favourite musician

and when you were a child, Michael Jackson by far favoured you.
Anonymous 07/24/14(Thu)02:08 UTC+1 No.14532698 Report

I can give a vaguely informative answer, probably not so much as OP though. His personal life really was intriguing, not just to idiots who follow whatever was on the news.

He had a poor upbringing; his father was abusive to him and his brothers to quite an extent, there are many books or pages which go into this in more detail but the point is that there is a lot to be analysed and evaluated when it comes to Michael's childhood. Family matters with his dad, his brothers and how his career in the Jackson 5 was panning out.

Depending on your familiarity with his music, he is obviously something of a modern 'genius' and major landmark in what you could envision as a 'story of music'. Disclaimer: he is not even close to being a favourite artist of mine but I do listen to an album or couple of tracks every month or two which isn't often in comparison to how much I listen to music. People know of this permanent status as they do with Elvis and The Beatles. He is a legitimately great artist. This draws a lot of attention, love and fanaticism - and encourages a wealth of material about him to come up. If you were to be a Michael Jackson fan, you'd find no end to the amount of things you could find out about, learn, discuss or think over. His life has been spilled wide open by the media over the course of decades - yet he remains mysterious. That is a formula for creating this kind of fans.

The whitening of his skin as a response to vitiligo (which would have made his skinny blotchy and patchy) was huge! The extent to which his appearance changed was strongly divisive. At the time of his changing skin colour people weren't really aware of his vitiligo and many still aren't. Even with that excuse, it's hard to say that people calling him a race traitor are wrong. His plastic surgery was hugely transorming, and a rarer concept than it is nowadays partly thanks to him. It also highlighted the serious mental health issues he had.
Anonymous 07/24/14(Thu)02:10 UTC+1 No.14532708 Report

I ran out of space but I think it's enough to show there was a lot of depth and colour to his life with more scrutiny and information available than anytime before in history. His lasting level of fame, or infamy, was unprecedented.
Anonymous 07/24/14(Thu)02:13 UTC+1 No.14532718 Report

I think that gives me what I needed to know, thank you anon.

If I understand correctly, he was a deeply mentally troubled artist who channeled his craziness and childhood trauma into unforgettable music. To be honest, the music is not my cup of tea, but I'm a fan of numerous younger, potentially less troubled, troubled artists so I think I understand the appeal.
Anonymous 07/24/14(Thu)02:25 UTC+1 No.14532757 Report

Let me start off with that having a strong interest in something is perfectly normal. The moment this interest starts affecting your personal life however, is the point at which you should start reconsidering your priorities. If anything, please don't try and shove everything about MJ out of your life just because it isn't socially acceptable or considered weird. You are a perfectly fine human being as long as you consider yourself to be so.

There are a lot of people in this world that have trouble accepting who they are, and I'm honest enough to admit that I'm not 100% comfortable with who I am either. I'm 20 years old myself and massively intro programming computer games and although its less of a niché then some other hobbies, people will never understand how I am able to enjoy 12 hour programming sprees in nothing else but my undies. In the same way a lot of people won't be able to understand the entertainment values you get from your 'obsession' with MJ.

Even if you have a mental disability, even if this is some sort of 'daddy issue' disorder, even if you're just a general wackjob, please don't ever forget that the most important opinion in your life is that of yourself. Nobody has the actual power to change who you are but yourself.

TL;DR - Be yourself.
Anonymous 07/24/14(Thu)02:33 UTC+1 No.14532792 Report

"The moment this interest starts affecting your personal life however, is the point at which you should start reconsidering your priorities."

Which is now. Just this sentence is enough to prove that this is not something which is 'perfectly fine': "Even today it doesn't feel real, Michael Jackson didn't even seem human to me. He was like an angel. When people badmouth him ... it makes me so angry", or "Michael Jackson has been dead for 5 years now. And still I feel very depressed when anything about his death comes up or gets mentioned."
Anonymous 07/24/14(Thu)03:45 UTC+1 No.14533074 Report

hey, man.. not sure exactly how i might help, but if you ever need or want to talk to anyone, contact info is in the name.

-from another michael lover.
agrillonskype@gmail 07/24/14(Thu)03:46 UTC+1 No.14533077 Report

derp, had to go back and retype captcha and the email field cleared
Anonymous 07/24/14(Thu)03:48 UTC+1 No.14533088 Report

Well like you said it goes past the point of liking him into obsession. Obsession is never a good thing, unless you're an artist but that's irrelevant. It's obviously an issue if it's making you this depressed.
All the content on this website comes from 4chan.org. All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster. 4chanArchive is not affiliated with 4chan.