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/adv/ - Advice

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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)11:34 UTC+1 No.14269494 Report

Hi /adv/. I've had sex with 3 people, been told by the few people I've spoken to about it that I shouldn't count the third. So either way my number stands at 2 or 3.

I don't know if it's too much time on the internet or what but the thought of being with yet another person disgusts me. I feel like I'm already starting to become "used goods", which annoys me because otherwise I have a pretty healthy self-esteem. Occasionally I'll be trying to sleep and my previous partners will cross my mind and I'll just feel dirty. How do I stop doing this? I know logically my "number" is lower than a lot of people my age (I'm 21), and I also know logically that people in real life don't give a shit but I still think this way.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)11:36 UTC+1 No.14269504 Report

stop being a little bitch
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)11:38 UTC+1 No.14269506 Report

>>14269494

No one gives a fuck about numbers. There is no such thing as used goods. You sound like you're 12 years old, going around asking your friends if the 3rd one counts like it even matters at all.

If you don't want to have sex, don't. If you do, do. No one is telling you you have to have sex with a bunch of people. 2 or 3 people is nothing. I had sex with 2 or 3 people last week and I feel fine, and I don't feel the need to overanalyze it with my brain dead friends.

Just live your life and do what you want and stop trying to inject importance and meaning into areas of your life that really don't have or need any.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)11:40 UTC+1 No.14269509 Report

>>14269506
Yes they do and yes there is. If you're a slut, you're a slut.

2-3 is fine, though.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)11:42 UTC+1 No.14269513 Report

>>14269506
people do care about numbers and there is such a thing as used goods as long as some person believes used goods is a thing, OP is freaking out over nothing though.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)11:44 UTC+1 No.14269517 Report

>>14269506
Haha. It wasn't quite as childish as that but I see what you're saying. It was just a situation I was really upset over so I talked about it to a few close friends, it wasn't just a case of "he put the tip in, what do you think to that".

I am trying to give it less importance, like I said in the OP I'm fully aware no-one gives a shit and I'm just making myself feel bad for no reason but stopping something like that is easier said than done. Thank you.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)12:20 UTC+1 No.14269560 Report

>>14269494
The amount of sexual partners you've had doesn't change your value as a person.

Worrying about things of no significance is a waste of time. Don't waste time.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)12:30 UTC+1 No.14269575 Report

>>14269494
W H O R E
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)12:41 UTC+1 No.14269598 Report

>>14269560
Thank you.

>>14269575
Like I said in the OP, my self-esteem is really good otherwise. I'm not going to be bothered by anyone calling me a whore, pleasantly surprised it took this long to be fair.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)12:59 UTC+1 No.14269628 Report

You shouldn't have sex with a lot of people OP. Because of this fear existing in the back of your mind, it'll make you feel guilty later on.

Also it tends to make you less likely to be able to be faithful in a permanent monogamous relationship, but that's another field.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)13:25 UTC+1 No.14269665 Report

>>14269628
No I'm aware of that, I have zero desire to go out and have sex with a load of different people. I don't want to overcome my issue so I can do that, I just don't want to feel guilty about my past.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)13:36 UTC+1 No.14269689 Report

>>14269560

Unfortunately for you, you don't define your own value.
Of course a less used-up girl will be valued higher in society than a whore, what are you, stupid?
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)13:38 UTC+1 No.14269695 Report

You shouldn't fuck endlessly everyday with various men for two reason: reputation and STDs.

Trust me when I say most poeple will willingly lie about the second one and deny the first one for trivial reasons.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)13:47 UTC+1 No.14269711 Report

3 is a reasonable number for 21. Don't sweat it. It's not like you slept with 20 people.
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05/16/14(Fri)14:14 UTC+1 No.14269759 Report

If you think this way then obviously you must have some reason for thinking that.

Until we discover your reasons we won't be able to convince you otherwise.

Also you can make yourself feel better by doing charity and volunteering work.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)14:26 UTC+1 No.14269770 Report

>>14269506
yeah well, you are just a huge slut.
100% undesirable to any real man.
only little horny boys would want to fuck you
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)14:39 UTC+1 No.14269787 Report

>>14269494

The other day they was plottin' on my homie Tre. They tried to slip him a mickey in his Bombay! But now we knowin' not to fall for the oakey-doakey, brings his own bottle and his smokes
>>
Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)14:40 UTC+1 No.14269788 Report

>>14269689
>You don't define your own value
Of course you do. There isn't an ironclad definition of what is good that universally and unarguably applies. You can find averages of what people favor or disfavor, but to say that such averages determine what is genuinely good is argument from popularity.

>Of course a less used-up girl will be valued higher in society than a whore, what are you, stupid?
I think you'll find what 'society' values to be quite diverse.

Maybe you think of women as rags, and each dick they get wiped on makes them permanently less valuable. However, the amount of sex partners you've had doesn't necessarily seem to impinge upon one's happiness or your capacity to act in an ethical manner (things I value), so it doesn't matter to me.

And again, what 'society' thinks isn't the golden diviner of truth.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)14:45 UTC+1 No.14269796 Report

>>14269770
> a real man, not a boy
> being whiny and insecure about how much sex your girl had before she met you
choose one you sad fucktard
>>
Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)15:12 UTC+1 No.14269841 Report

>>14269494

Didn't read thread. Seems to me you have self-esteem issues stemming from society's standards when it comes to fucking people. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any number of partners, as long as you're healthy and happy.

Fuck everything and everyone else. As long as you are healthy and happy and do not do anything wrong to other people.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)15:22 UTC+1 No.14269864 Report

>>14269796
>Not knowing that women with a high number of sexual partners are more likely to cheat, more likely to divorce you and more likely to cuckold you

The reason why she is worried is because on some level she knows she's damaging her long term relationship chances. The more men she fucks the less appealing she is.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)16:01 UTC+1 No.14269942 Report

>>14269864
>The reason why she is worried is because on some level she knows she's damaging her long term relationship chances. The more men she fucks the less appealing she is.

only to fedora neckbearded autists such as yourself. Maybe that's all she can get because she's a fat slag (in which case you're right) but otherwise no normal person gives a shit and she's worrying because of faggots like you projecting your insecure shit on everyone else.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)16:53 UTC+1 No.14270108 Report

>>14269942
>hurr durr
No. 10% of men get upset at the idea she's had more than one, the majority think around ten partners is unacceptable, and the vast majority by 20. People who don't care are a minority in comparison to this.

There's inverse correlation between how many men you've fucked, and how desirable you are in a long term relationship, for most men.

Source : http://au.askmen.com/specials/great_male_survey/dating.html
Question 43.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)18:01 UTC+1 No.14270249 Report

>>14269864
I'm not worried about that. My number is relatively low, I've had people tell me they've expected it to be higher. Honestly relationship or otherwise no-ones ever said anything negative. I just find sex a very intimate experience and I feel like I've already shared it with too many people (there was no fucking way I could have stayed in those relationships though), and the thought of continuing to share it with the wrong people just bothers me. That's not the only issue surrounding it but it's one of the main ones.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)19:07 UTC+1 No.14270395 Report

>>14270249
I know how you feel OP. Ive only had sex with one girl in a long term relationship and everytime i had sex it just blew my mind that something so intimate and dirty can be done casually, one night stands, or that people can cheat and go that far.

The thought of a future relationship with a girl involving sex and resulting in a breakup again just makes me sick and horribly depressed. I wonder if "oppressive" society in the 1900s really were worse than the freedoms and non existent social stigmas we have today.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)19:30 UTC+1 No.14270446 Report

There's a study that corelated # of partners with likelihood of a failured marriage. Mire partners = increased likelihood of divorce.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)19:50 UTC+1 No.14270471 Report

>used whore thread

B8t or used whore. Either way...
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)19:51 UTC+1 No.14270473 Report

just so OP knows what she is doing to herself.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)20:02 UTC+1 No.14270503 Report

>>14269942
I'm not sure why reddit has invaded 4chan lately. I guess it's summer?

I have a feeling you're just used goods and want to project your insecurity onto others.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)20:04 UTC+1 No.14270511 Report

>>14270503
dont bother responding to reddit/tumblrfags like this. Just post facts like
>>14270473
until they go away or learn to think.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)20:06 UTC+1 No.14270520 Report

>tfw my gf has had 8 sexual partners
>6 of them were before she was ten
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)20:10 UTC+1 No.14270534 Report

>>14270473
That's hilarious.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)20:17 UTC+1 No.14270555 Report

So what's the deal with the third guy?

Seems you won't pick a number and go with it until you figure out whether you're counting him as a partner...
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)20:18 UTC+1 No.14270559 Report

>>14270108
Not the poster you were talking to but if you perform such a study you ask people how they feel about someone completely hypothetical whose only defined aspect is their sexual past. That a man doesn't think highly of the concept of a woman who's been with twenty men, doesn't mean when it comes down to it there won't be a portion of men more than happy to go with the twenty+ gal over someone with a very modest number if the first girl is charming, attractive and interesting and the second is an all around plain Jane.
That is not to say it doesn't mean or show anything, I'm saying it says more about sexual morals in themselves than about how the asked men would actually act if confronted with flesh and blood people of whom that number was one aspect, which is the only part directly relevant to her.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)20:26 UTC+1 No.14270584 Report

>>14269494
You could have had sex 1000 times with 1 person and had sex 10 times with 3 people in total. Numbers don't matter, if you feel like a dirty little whore either you've acted or are acting like one which makes you think about it. ORRRR you are being brainwashed that you are one based on society etc. Anyway calm down, its just sex and remember to be faithful!
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)20:28 UTC+1 No.14270588 Report

>>14270473
Correlation =! causation

Who's to say the women being depressed isn't what's causing them to seek sex/validation?
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)20:41 UTC+1 No.14270609 Report

>>14270588
incorrect. Correlation often is causation, thats how most scientific studies are formed.
Especially over such a large range as shown.

So tired of idiots spouting correlation=/=causation when it can, and does. Its like the buzzword 'slippery slope' which in itself is often more true than not.

Then again, I don't suspect many on 4chan to understand this.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)20:43 UTC+1 No.14270613 Report

>>14270609
http://www.researchgate.net/post/If_correlation_doesnt_imply_causation_then_if_I_find_a_statistically_significant_correlation_how_can_I_prove_the_causality

for further reading.
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Anonymous 05/16/14(Fri)20:46 UTC+1 No.14270621 Report

>>14269494
>people in real life don't give a shit
wrong
>>14269506
>No one gives a fuck about numbers
wrong
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Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)04:17 UTC+1 No.14271828 Report

If you don't mind my asking, why are people saying you shouldn't count the third? That's not something one hears very often.
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Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)04:30 UTC+1 No.14271850 Report

>>14270559
True, but if they were aware of the 20+ girls sexual past, that would be a huge disincentive.

There's probably a relation between large numbers of partners and personality too - if a man is serious about his non-whorish critera, many of the personality traits of the 20+ girl will be less likely to be attractive.

Finally, not revealing your true number of sexual partners would just be keeping a part of yourself hidden from him, because it disgusts him. The 20+ girl would be better off finding someone who doesn't hate that part of her, though it would whittle down her potential numbers considerably.
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Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)04:42 UTC+1 No.14271893 Report

>>14269788
>>You don't define your own value
>Of course you do.
not even that dude, but no, you don't. If I need a surgeon, even the most pompous homeless guy won't be worth two shits to me. Your value is determined by what you provide that is...gasp...of value. Your youness is something that everyone provides of themselves. Don't be a dingus.
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Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)07:07 UTC+1 No.14272239 Report

>>14271893
Not anyone beforehand, but you can be valued by different people, yourself included. Everyone is going to feel to have a different worth, but how much you value yourself tends to be more important than most other people. I always thought that the "define your own value" thing stemmed from that. It's not saying that you get to decide what everyone else thinks of you, but that you should be the final judge of your character.
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Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)13:39 UTC+1 No.14272882 Report

>>14270609
Actually, correlation usually isn't causation, and even when it is, it often goes in the opposite direction that you thought it did.

Correlation is good for finding things to experiment on, since causation implies correlation. But that's pretty much the only thing it's good for, and in particular, it is worthless as a supporting argument.
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