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/adv/ - Advice

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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)07:13 UTC+1 No.14652425 Report

Ok /adv/

Its late, and im bored.

Post a problem/question you have ITT and I will try my best to help you.

So, General help thread I guess. Ask/vent away
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)07:16 UTC+1 No.14652435 Report

If I want to fuck my husband while he is wearing one of those animal kigu pyjama things, does that make me a furfag?
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)07:19 UTC+1 No.14652447 Report

>>14652435
Kinda weird but I don't judge.
I would say no, but it's possible that it may lead to you becoming a furfag. I suppose, as long as you're not actually thinking about going full on, wolf/dog/cat/whatever suit and all the other faggot shit furries do, you're in the clear
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)07:22 UTC+1 No.14652456 Report

>>14652447
I don't need the hood part of the kigu to be on, if that clarifies the situation.
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)07:25 UTC+1 No.14652463 Report

>>14652456
Then that's basically just baggy and colorful pajamas. That doesn't really make you a furfag.
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)10:37 UTC+1 No.14652814 Report

I've recently moved back in with my family, and they occasionally offer little tips here and there to sort of correct my behavior. I'm having some trouble with deciding how to take this advice.

Basically, I'm being told that I'll be best off if I just sort of go into maximum security lockdown. No information in or out, to anyone for any reason. Just so we're on the same page, I do think that this is a valid suggestion, because I do have a problem (maybe?) with transmitting too much information to people that just plain don't need it, and it would improve my security quite a bit.

The trouble is that I have developed my behavior in large part as a response to the "interesting people" problem. Specifically, there just aren't any. I've burned through a couple tens of thousands, and while I haven't yet tried all 7 billion ish, I have covered a good average of the groups of people that I'm likely to be around for the next 60+ years. Mind you, I'm sure all of them think that they're real interesting, but the fact of the matter is that no matter how amazing your hobbies are, if you never mention them, discuss them, involve me in them, or otherwise allow them to come to my attention, then from my point of view you have exactly nothing to contribute. So either these tens of thousands of people are either completely without interests, or they've already decided not to share them with me. I'm totally fine with that either way. But my behavior amounts to basically spamming the active sonar looking for the 1/100,000. If I go into lockdown, what exactly is going to stop that sort of probably-less-than-once-in-a-lifetime chance for a conversational partner from just passing me by like everyone else? If they just pass me by without me ever noticing, then isn't this suggestion basically the equivalent of "be alone forever, just like everyone else"? Is there a socially appropriate way to lure out interesting people, or should I just continue to level up talking-to-self?
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)10:42 UTC+1 No.14652823 Report

How do i stay focused on my schoolwork and get A's?
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Shyfootfungus 08/21/14(Thu)14:00 UTC+1 No.14653173 Report

Tryna hit on a guy whose friends with an "ex" supposedly only because he feels that way. It was only a week. A WEEK. that's considering just dating and testing the water. Keep in mind he's fucking thirty and told me not to talk to HIS people. Wtf. Anyways how should I approach this. If I should anyways.
Btw the guy I'm interested in is not my fb friend and we only spoke once.
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)14:05 UTC+1 No.14653179 Report

the person I love left me. how do I make this sad and empty feeling go away?
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)14:16 UTC+1 No.14653196 Report

>>14652814

If you talk like that in real life your social issues aren't surprising. But seems what you're getting at is that:

>People don't interest you
>So you're considering giving up on people all together or something.
>But then your afraid by doing so you'll fuck up and miss out on some super interesting person.
>So you want to know how to find interesting people or just fuck it

That about right?
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)14:32 UTC+1 No.14653227 Report

>>14652823

I'll assume you mean college. You should be more specific but I'll throw out some random tidbits.

A) Avoid large-lecture classes if you can. Smaller classes where you're more integrated lead to better performance.
B) Ask shit. You have a paid professional with office hours at your disposal, maybe a TA, and a classroom full of other students. If you don't know something, find out.
C) If you do shitty on a test find out why. See what questions you got wrong if you can. Ask shit you don't understand.
D) Take a creative class. Art, theatre, something. It's really nice to have sort of a release class that's not all textbooks and papers.
E) Mind Palace motherfucker. Google it, ignore the Sherlock fanfic shit about it. Use it for dates, names, shit like that.
F) Work in burst. If you got a 1000 word paper take it a section at a time, with a 10 minute relax period inbetween each paragraph or something.
G) Map out a course of action for projects, papers and studying. Jamming everything the day before it's due or the day of the test is kinda shit. Instead lay out a course of action. Like a page a day to study.
H) Schoolwork is better with a friend. Study-buddy or similar.

>>14653173

Hit the fuck away on him. This dude your hitting on isn't your 'ex's property. If your 'ex' tries some shit let the dude your hitting on know. Either A) he'll show loyalty to your 'ex', in which case fine for him; not someone you want in your life, or B) he'll call your 'ex' out on his bullshit

>>14653179

Make yourself busy with hobbies, work, school or otherwise. Surround yourself with friends who make you laugh and smile. Focus on you. The pain will never go away completely for some while, you just gotta make due until time does it's magic.
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)19:47 UTC+1 No.14653949 Report

>>14653196

To a certain extent. I find people to be only just slightly interesting. Going and finding out that someone dislikes Tuesdays ever so slightly more than they dislike Wednesdays is actually pretty cool! ... But it's only going to hold my attention for a few seconds. Hearing that one movie that I can't afford to see in the theater is somewhat better than another movie that I can't afford to see in the theater is also pretty cool! ... But it's only going to hold my attention for a few seconds. The best way to hold my attention onto something is to make it something which holds up under scrutiny. Just a base fact, while interesting, has exactly no depth, so it's characterized and filed away immediately. So in a way, people are just as interesting as everything else, but they only manage to stay interesting for a few seconds at any one time.

I wouldn't mind hearing it if you have some grand plan for luring in people that manage to do better than the above. However, I'm convinced that there isn't a plan that works, and that instead the best I can do is simply to be as visible as possible to that type of person. By becoming invisible to all people, anyone more interesting will just pass by like a ship in the night, provided that they existed at all and were even near enough for me to notice them. I won't have to beat myself up for having missed out, but I will essentially be condemning myself to talking almost exclusively with myself for the rest of my life. Which is the sort of thing that I'm told is "really sad and lonely!" and potentially undesirable.
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)20:57 UTC+1 No.14654141 Report

Anybody got general interview advice? It's for an entry-level customer service position in a supermarket. It's extremely competitive because fuck the unemployed.
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)20:58 UTC+1 No.14654147 Report

how do i get better at giving the D? I am awful at sex its pathetic.
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)21:02 UTC+1 No.14654157 Report

I have the option of:

A) Finish 2 years of useless degree, jobless and $30k in debt. Rent is paid for.
B) Take year off, find direction, get basic work experience (if I get hired), go into different degree that is more practical and fulfilling. Have to pay for my own rent. I could also finish the first degree after this year, but I'll get no money for rent and I'm not sure if I'm compotent enough to cover the cost myself when the time comes.

What do?
I really don't want to waste 2 years of my life and mega $$$, but so far the degree seems like the 'safest' option.
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)21:03 UTC+1 No.14654164 Report

I am a bad judge of character. the guys I go for, I am always told that I could do better. The last guy I was with for example turned out to be addicted to heroin and begged for money with fake sob stories to make money. The guy before that turned out to be a sociopath. My friends told me it was a bad idea but I went for it anyway:( how do I stop? I just want a guy I can have fun days with. Do I have low self esteem so I go for horrible people ?!
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)21:04 UTC+1 No.14654168 Report

>>14654147

>giving the D

One does not give the D, they force it.
Problem solved
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)21:07 UTC+1 No.14654172 Report

>>14654164
You might be ignoring the warning signs and going with these guys out of desperation. You don't have to settle for anyone, you can do better.

A good way to test and see if this is the case is to examine the times you knew these people before dating them, and to think of situations that put you off (or should have) but your chose to accept.
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Anonymous 08/21/14(Thu)21:13 UTC+1 No.14654191 Report

>>14654172
Hmm. I am lonely which could be part of it. There were literally no warning signs. Heroin guy I met through my best friend who I trust, and I knew he did drugs but so did I, but not heroin. My best friend and I learned how shitty he was at the same time. Sociopath guy liked music and sang in a band and didn't seem like a dick until another friend told me more about him...
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