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Anonymous 05/08/14(Thu)20:07 UTC+1 No.14242109 Report

Went on a date last Saturday night with a qt I've been flirting with for a little while. Had some fast food and saw a movie. It was nice, just enough personal contact and conversation, we didn't kiss or anything. We've been hanging out here and there all week, mostly just getting food together. Probably going to go out again tomorrow night, maybe with some friends.

I am feeling confident about where this is going and am in no particular hurry to get there. My concern is that I might not be showing enough interest or that I am moving too slowly. Back in the day I moved quickly and often fucked things up because of that. I've mellowed out and am much more patient now. I'm just worried that she might misjudge that as disinterest.

It seems fairly certain that we are both interested in a longer term relationship, so how soon would it be okay for me to try and go for first base? Honestly I've just been reading her signals and going off of that (she has been getting physically closer with me these last couple of day), but I don't want to make her uncomfortable.

I don't want to come across as more alpha than I really am, and I don't want to look like a beta in the process. Am I overthinking this a little bit? Part of me says there is nothing to worry about, but that's the logic behind just taking my time and letting her signals direct my action.
Anonymous 05/08/14(Thu)20:16 UTC+1 No.14242128 Report

You didn't fuck up in the past because you moved too quickly. What happened was that you quickly got to the point where she had to admit that she wasn't interested. 90% of the people you date will ultimately not spark with you. That's normal. With enough time you can sometimes allow people the opportunity to reconsider or settle, but do you really want that anyway? I think you'd prefer someone who genuinely feels chemistry with you from the early moments.

So, no, don't go glacially slow. Kiss the girl already. Don't blame yourself for something you didn't actually control or screw up in the past.
Anonymous 05/08/14(Thu)20:27 UTC+1 No.14242164 Report

I used to think the same thing as OP. Blamed moving too fast for relationship problems, when in actuality none of them were really interested in me to begin with and were still in love with their ex bfs that they had broken up with a month or two beforehand.

>tfw the only girls who like you are the ones on rebound
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