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/adv/ - Advice

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Anonymous 05/12/14(Mon)22:50 UTC+1 No.14255845 Report

>think i'm great a guy
>afraid to talk to anyone because i think they all hate me
>think they are right to hate me so i hate myself
>i'm afraid if i let anyone get close to me it will go over really badly eventually

i need to stop hating myself and to see the best in people

how can i do that /adv/?
how can i re-write my mind into believing that?
Anonymous 05/12/14(Mon)23:31 UTC+1 No.14255974 Report

I have the same issue anon. Some days are better than others. One really big thing that helped me was just realizing all the times I put myself down throughout the day and stopping, I bet you do this too. Stuff like I didn't smile at that person I passed they probably think I'm a jerk why am I such a piece of shit. So try to be aware of this if you do it and just tell yourself that you're fine, you didn't do anything wrong and your intentions are good. But it's hard. It's basically like a reflex for me so if I don't try it's easy to fall back into the habit.

This feeling you have has probably accumulated over a long time, so it might take some time to unravel. But I believe in you, anon. You can do it if you try.

One other thing, it may very well go over badly if you get close to someone. But if you're like me any hate you feel from others will be dwarfed by the hate you feel for yourself. This is also strange. It's important to tell yourself that interactions have two parties and not everything is your fault or responsibility.

Changing habits is hard but you can do it. If you have a bad day just try again. I've improved enough to see that it's possible to get out of this so I believe you can too.
Anonymous 05/13/14(Tue)02:41 UTC+1 No.14256729 Report

Anonymous 05/13/14(Tue)05:07 UTC+1 No.14257245 Report

I have the same problem as well. I stopped talking to all my friends because i figured they didn't care. If i meet new people i get along fine but i never follow up. I obsess over tiny details in social situations that go wrong like someone not laughing at a joke i say etc.. but old friends that i run into clearly still like me and want to see me. some of them occasionally reach out to me on facebook, but i still feel a feeling of needing to tug myself back into my shell and stay miserable and alone. its almost an addiction to self destructive social behavior. whenever i start to feel happy or have fun, later i feel bad that i did and correct my behavior to not have fun. i dont know why./
Anonymous 05/13/14(Tue)05:20 UTC+1 No.14257287 Report

>See the best in people

People only need things if you can't fulfill the needs of people you are worthless.
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