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/tg/ - Traditional Games - Kill the Justice League

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File: GalleryChar_1900x900_JusticeLeague_52ab8e54d0a6f0.42170553.jpg-(288 KB, 1900x900)
Kill the Justice League
Kill the Justice League Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)18:20 UTC+1 No.34253286 Report

You (yes, you as you are right now) are contacted by a cosmic entity who charges you with killing the Justice League.

The entity informs you that the Justice League is normally protected by an extra-dimensional force known only as 'Plot Armor', rendering them immune to any supervillanous attacks. You have been chosen because you are mundane and without any supervillanous connections or macguffins which would otherwise trigger the plot armor.

The entity goes on to say that you do not have to worry about plot armor as long as you stick to mundane (non magical/techno-magical/macguffiny) means, with the singular exception of Kryptonite for Superman. The entity can offer you no other aid, as any other direct interaction would turn you into a supervillanous minion, rendering this whole exercise moot.

How would you go about it /tg/?

TLDR: You are tasked with killing the Justice League, you have nothing other than your current real-life resources. You cannot use magic/techno-magic/macguffins except for Kryptonite.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)18:23 UTC+1 No.34253330 Report

Read them 'Atlas Shrugged' until they kill themselves.

Bam. League dead.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)18:27 UTC+1 No.34253384 Report


Last on the list. Will require careful positioning.


Very easily the first on the list. Batman's success revolves almost entirely around plot armor.

Bomb in his car. Dead.


I could charter a fishing boat to trawl a bit around where he's been seen. If we could net him, killing him would be relatively simple. Again, no plot armor.

>Green Lantern

Get the ring away from him and he's just Hal. Easy.

>Wonder Woman

Ties into Superman. Wait for it.


This is a problem. Flash could very easily destroy me and use the Cosmic Treadmill to undo any damage I've done.

I have to stop there.

You can't beat the ability to travel through space at meters per attosecond.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)18:29 UTC+1 No.34253411 Report

If I *have* to?

I'll organize semi-villainous attacks that are actually traps, one for each member of the League. The timing will have to be careful and explicit, so that you don't accidentally get two or more.

The traps will need to include their villainous arch-nemesis, which is the only way to keep any of these super-powered beings distracted long enough. Then, as much high-powered as possible in a small area, or perhaps attempt to get ahold of a Rod from God.

However, to be perfectly honest this is a completely impossible request. Flash can run so fast he can go back in time, or just dodge something coming at the speed of light. Supes has so much superpowers and difficulty that even with a hunk of cryptonite you can't kill that fucker, it's been tried and failed. Wonder Woman doesn't have that weakness and she's almost as strong as Supes. Green Lantern can just do whatever he wants and is that rare individual that actually is as good as he needs to be for cosmic threats.

Aquaman, Cyborg, and Batman are the three in that picture "easiest" to take out and they are far and away incredibly powerful beings. Aquaman's a fucking king who can get help anywhere in the world, plus is super-strong. Cyborg has huge guns and huge guts. Batman's fucking batman, but at least he's mortal. But they'll die to a couple pounds of c4 I guess.

The only real way to kill heroes is to have a lame multi-story event dispirit them or to develop incredible plot armor of your own. If they can be sufficiently depressed then it might be possible to one-by-one disarm and kill them, but it's a tricky business and will probably do nothing more than bring them all back together to showdown against my new boss. And the last time plot-armor like that was tried we got JLA Act of God or Amazons Attack, so...
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)18:30 UTC+1 No.34253418 Report

Well, considering that my first hurdle is bringing them to life in this reality so that I can kill them... this is gonna be a while. If I could make the Justice League real, I would have done it already.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)18:33 UTC+1 No.34253465 Report

Flash and wonder woman make this impossible.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)18:34 UTC+1 No.34253475 Report


Lol didn't the flash freeze a guy into place as a statue forever?

I'd think for him, since he keeps a secret identity, the best thing would probably be some sort of sleeping/nerve gas. There would be a lot of collateral but he wouldn't even realize anything and then he'd be unconscious/dead. I guess the biggest problem would be how the hell do you get nerve gas, like I wouldn't even know where to start.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)18:42 UTC+1 No.34253571 Report

You've got no idea how strong Aquaman is, he's nearly superman strength and speed. If anything he's harder to kill than Supes as he doesn't have kryptonite or red lamp weaknesses.

Also how the heck do you plan to get the ring away from Hal? He doesn't ever take it off.

When it comes to Flash, generally he isn't as strong as you see mentioned in most threads, a lot of that is alternate universes/continuity or simply a case of a writer being retarded and making him absurdly overpowered for one occasion. I'm not sure that he even currently has his cosmic treadmill yet in the new 52, but I haven't kept up.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)18:53 UTC+1 No.34253747 Report

Time release poison in his food that takes effect when he's asleep. Dead.

>Green Lantern
Bomb under a chair that triggers via remote. Boom. Dead before he can react or make a shield.

Alternately, just hit him with a gamma ray pulse from somewhere where you can't be seen, and keep it on him till he falls over dead. That works for any super who needs to be aware of the danger to defend against it.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)18:57 UTC+1 No.34253810 Report

Unfortunately my plotting to kill the league turns me into a supervillian and thus anything I do activates their plot armor.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)19:00 UTC+1 No.34253849 Report

>That works for any super who needs to be aware of the danger to defend against it.
Pretty sure that won't bring down the Hulk
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)19:01 UTC+1 No.34253853 Report

>Also how the heck do you plan to get the ring away from Hal? He doesn't ever take it off.

He has to recharge it.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)19:05 UTC+1 No.34253902 Report


Convince DC to publish a new "what-if?" comic that details how one dude kills the entire justice league.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)19:05 UTC+1 No.34253908 Report

The best idea I can come up with is to somehow trick the members of the League into fighting each other, to the point where the Justice League is disbanded. Killing any member of the League is out of the question for me, on a moral and a practical level, but killing the League as an organisation is more reasonable.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)19:08 UTC+1 No.34253970 Report

Employers should disable Batman first (at least for a mission time). Without him job should be easy.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)19:43 UTC+1 No.34254508 Report


I don't know, that sounds remarkably supervillan-like.

I'm thinking you'd need to stick more to conventional weapons, trickery, ied''s, poison and the like.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)19:54 UTC+1 No.34254646 Report

Assuming we don't know their secret identities it's fucking impossible.

Even knowing everything about them, having just your own resources mean whatever mean you may employ will be easily tracked back to you.

If it was feasible for the average dude to kill someone with so much power we would need to elect a President twice a day.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)20:02 UTC+1 No.34254769 Report

How is this /tg/ and not /co/? How about we exercise in "minimum 3.x wizard level to kill Justice League" or something similar instead?
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)20:39 UTC+1 No.34255272 Report

Recharging doesn't require him to take it off and takes a few seconds.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)21:49 UTC+1 No.34256522 Report


I don't know, they aren't surrounded by bodyguards at all times with food inspectors and areas cordoned off before they arrive. Many of them go back to apartments where they live alone, or walk on the street by themselves, etc.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)22:00 UTC+1 No.34256722 Report
File: SidTheSquid.jpg-(125x93)
I'm sure this guy could...
I'm sure this guy could handle it.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)22:05 UTC+1 No.34256826 Report

Aquaman's power level fluctuates WILDLY and he's not anywhere near as fast as Superman, dummy.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)22:10 UTC+1 No.34256930 Report

Poison the watchtowers cafeteria with Cyanide and Kryptonite.

Then bomb the watchtower.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)22:51 UTC+1 No.34257640 Report

That would merely make you a villain, not a super villain. Actually killing the entire League, however, would arguably rocket your status to supervillain immediately.

Arguably, this is a strong disincentive to kill them unless it also comes with amazing supervillain abilities and domains from your patron / the universe. Otherwise as soon as you succeed you will be a prime target for both vengeful hero types and jealous villain types. I would hate to be sucking on some entity's teat for basic safety and agency for the rest of my natural life.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)22:55 UTC+1 No.34257699 Report

>I would hate to be sucking on some entity's teat for basic safety and agency for the rest of my natural life.

It's a metaphor for STATES!!!! OHHHH!!! AHHHH!!!
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)22:56 UTC+1 No.34257713 Report

1. Find the editor's family.
2. Poison them
3. Withhold the antidote unless they write the death of the entire justice league
4. Make sure the story is awful enough to kill allot of interest in DC.
5. Repeat steps 1-4 as necessary.

Wait until public opinion has shifted and the series is put on a back shelf until it's eventually retired.
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)23:07 UTC+1 No.34257918 Report

not really lol
Anonymous 08/19/14(Tue)23:22 UTC+1 No.34258173 Report

>You are tasked with killing the Justice League, you have nothing other than your current real-life resources. You cannot use magic/techno-magic/macguffins except for Kryptonite.

Assuming nothing has changed - well, I don't own the rights to the JL, and I have no pull at DC to get a book published. So the best I can manage is to write some bad fanfiction so the JL dies in at least one quantum reality and burn a JLA comic book.

Assuming I'm transplanted into the DC universe? Yeah, no. Fuck off, cosmic guy. The League may be rock stupid in defending the modern status quo rather than allowing the public to embrace the oodles and oodles of hypertech, alchemic, and magical ways to gain superpowers, but they're still the best shot we have at defending our blue speck from rampaging cosmic horrors. In fact, seeing as you, a cosmic horror are charging me to do something villainous, i.e. kill the Justice League, I'm pretty sure that makes me an agent/flunkie/henchmen of a villain and thus subject to plot armor. So no. Eat my soul or whatever, I deny your request.
Anonymous 08/20/14(Wed)00:47 UTC+1 No.34259675 Report

We're in DC land boy.

The best I could do would be sniping and ricin, though I'd get killed in the process.
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